


(all I wanna get is) a little bit closer

by twinkyixing



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, F/F, Female Baekhyun, Female Jongdae, Female Joonmyun, Libraries, femmEXO, side baekxing!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-09
Updated: 2015-08-09
Packaged: 2018-04-13 21:19:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4537764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twinkyixing/pseuds/twinkyixing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Junri practically lives in her campus library, but only just now noticed that someone has been writing their name on the old checkout cards of all her favorite books. And oh no, she’s cute.</p>
            </blockquote>





	(all I wanna get is) a little bit closer

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written for nabisonyeo/girlexochange on lj!
> 
> Teensy warning for allusions to social anxiety.

Junri flinches as she hears the clunking of a reshelving cart echo in the quiet space. She sets down her book and peers around, finally spotting the source of the noise. It's a student worker, but she must not know the layout of the library yet. She's squinting at a map and tracing a finger over what seems to be the A to C call numbers. The girl perks her head up once she realizes where to go and scurries off, cart rattling behind her.

Jumri smiles to herself and remembers when she had to learn the layout of the library. It's confusing at first, but doesn't take too long to pick up. The few people she knows who work here tend to agree, and it only took her a few weeks to get most everything down. It makes sense, considering how often she's in here. The student workers started recognizing her soon after her first semester started, and she knows most of their names by now. She doesn't know loud-cart-girl though. At least not yet. She figures it's only a matter of time before they learn each other's names, and smiles as she goes back to her book. The girl is pretty, after all. Even if she did interrupt Junri's reading.

/ / /

It's windier than usual when Junri sets off for class early in the morning, her skirt blowing around wildly. She's trying to smooth her bangs with one hand and hold her skirt down with the other when her book falls to the ground, opening and letting the pages flail around. She leans down to grab it, giving up on taming her bangsbas they flop around.

The gusting wind drags her book a few feet along the sidewalk before she gets to it. There's a flash of bright yellow in the back of the book and Junri pulls out what appears to be a checkout card. It's weird, in this day and age, but she knows her school library only stopped putting them in new books a few years back. Something about the librarians "valuing tradition." The list of names is amusing, some of them scrawled quickly and others neatly printed. The most recent one is prim and proper looking, and seems less faded than the others. _Kim Junghae_. Pretty.

Junri's wondering if any of the people on the card are still here when the wind blows her skirt up again, bringing her back and reminding her that she has an art history lecture across campus in 10 minutes. She shoves the card into the back of her book and hurries off, scolding herself for getting so distracted.

/ / /

Half an hour later, Junri is lamenting her decision to come to class at all. Today's lecture isn’t about anything particularly interesting. At least, not anything she doesn’t already know. There's still an hour left of class, so Junri quietly pulls her book out of her backpack and settles back to read it.

Somewhere between the lines, her mind starts to wander back to the checkout card.  
She pulls it out of the book and looks at it again. The ink of the last name really does look pretty fresh, especially compared to the older entries. Maybe this Kim Junghae is still on campus and for whatever reason likes to write her name on old checkout cards. Weird, but it’s totally something Junri would do herself. Maybe she should start.

Junri shakes her head at the thought and files it away for later, turning her attention back to the story. It's one of her typical guilty pleasure books, a young adult romance. A lot of books like this are the same, but she likes them anyway. They're sweet. The one she's currently eating up follows the story of a strong-willed woman determined to find love--just not with a man. It's becoming one of Junri's favorites. Maybe because she identifies with the protagonist, but the story is good anyways.

Class ends too soon for her to finish the rest of her book, so she heads to her favorite spot in the library. The heroine has just met up with her blind date, a tall brunette, so it's getting good.

When she walks in she waves at the circulation workers like usual, and they smile in return. Loud-cart-girl is behind the desk too, looking just as pretty as she had yesterday. Those pigtails are too cute. Junri waves at her too, and loves the enthusiastic response she gets back. She grins all the way up the stairs to the fifth floor, and is still smiling when she plops into a chair in the corner.

Soon, before she's managed to finish the two remaining chapters, she hears a cart clunking around again. The pretty new girl rounds the corner with a strained look on her face, dragging the noisy cart behind her. She's trying to turn it too sharply and starts making frustrated grunting noises as she pushes at the back.

Just as Junri is flicking her eyes back to the paragraph she left off on, a loud crash breaks through the air, followed by a drawn-out groan. The cart has toppled over and books are scattered all over the floor. The new girl is trying to grab as many books as she can, squinting at their call numbers, and looks about ready to shove them back onto the cart in whatever order.

Junri can't watch anymore and gets up to help, quietly approaching the wreckage.

“Would you like some help?” The question is softly spoken but still loud in the silent space. Junri gets an ecstatic nod in response before the girl goes back to reciting the alphabet under her breath. She sits down, a bit too aware of how close their shoulders are, and reaches for the nearest book.

It takes a bit, but she picks up on the call number system quickly enough and settles into placing the books back onto the cart in the right order. Between the two of them it doesn’t take too long and all too soon the girl is standing to leave. She smiles at Junri and gives an enthusiastic “thanks so much!” before wheeling the cart off to the other side of the floor.

Junri is left standing there, something warm curling in her chest. She heads back to her chair to finish her book and tries not to think about the new girl's curly brown hair or the new girl's perfect teeth or the new girl's sparkling eyes.

She fails miserably.

 

/ / /

 

The next day arrives bright and early--a shame, since Junri had been up a little too late last night. Baekji had been snoring away long before Junri’s heart had slowed to a normal pace. As a result of the fatigue, classes drag on slowly today. Junri notices herself fidgeting more than usual and wonders why she’s feeling so impatient. She definitely knows why, but she’s refusing to acknowledge her reasons for wanting to run all the way to the library.

Desperate for distraction, her mind drifts to the book she’d finished yesterday. It had been a good ending, and she’s eager to read more by the same author. A quick catalog search had told her that the library has a few more titles from them and she’s itching to get her hands on another.

The professor ends class early and Junri rushes through the mass of students to the library. She tells herself it’s just because she’s excited to read another book about girls who like girls (girls like her), and purposefully keeps her mind off flowing curls tied up in pigtails and accompanied by a knowing smile.

A hand taps her shoulder as she walks, and Baekji appears by her side.

“And where are you off to in such a rush? Got a hot date with another book?” Baekji smirks at her own joke. Typical. She puts on a genuine smile (albeit predatory) when Junri blushes, though, and Junri knows she’ll have to spill eventually. Probably tonight--Baekji is the type to wait up and pounce on her as soon as she walks into the room.

“Tell me about her later,” Baekji says matter-of-factly. “Have fun,” she adds over her shoulder as she heads off to class. A knot in Junri’s stomach tightens at the thought of actually having to acknowledge this crush. And _oh god what if she’s working today?_ Junri nearly turns around to go back to her dorm, but the thought of not having any reading material for the night is a bit scary. So, she marches on, and enters the library with only a slightly elevated pulse.

The girl isn’t behind the desk, which helps calm her down a bit, but she’s still wary. Now that she’s really thinking about this girl as a crush, as a possibility, it feels like something’s at stake. But this is the library--she’s here everyday and she’s going to be fine, pretty shelving girl or not.

Junri tries to ignore her worries by heading into the stacks to search for more books by the same author. The library has a pretty small fiction section, so it really shouldn’t be hard to find these books. She’d checked to make sure they were all in, and none of them were checked out before her class this morning. After a solid 10 minutes of poking around, nothing turns up. It’s disappointing, yeah, but they’ll be back eventually. She decides to reread one of her old favorites, checks it out at the circulation desk, and heads upstairs to her reading spot. 

It’s normally empty up here, but today there’s someone sitting next to her usual chair. It’s the new girl, and she has a pile of books stacked on the table along with two cups of coffee. Junri isn’t quite sure what’s going on ( _Is this for her? Is it for someone else? Does the new girl already have someone?_ ) and her nerves advise her to turn around and just go read on the north side of the floor. As she takes the first step away, though, a cheery voice breaks into the quiet.

"Hey! Junri, right?"

She holds in a squeak and answers, "Yeah, that's me." She turns around though, and wishes she had said it nicer. The new girl is turned around in her chair and looking unfairly attractive in a circle skirt and floral tee. Junri smiles, knowing it's shaky, and determinedly keeps her eyes on the girl's face. Not her legs. _Oh god, don't look at her legs._

The girl seems to understand (or ignore) Junri's tone, though, and glances at the stack of books on the table. A delicate, almost unsure smile lights up her face as she explains. "I'm sorry for taking your spot. I just figured that you'd come here eventually, and I wasn't sure how else to find you."

Junri needs to calm down. Pretty new girl probably isn't flirting. Maybe her smile just naturally curves up like that. Maybe her eyes are always that sparkly. Or something. "Oh, uh. Why did you want to find me?"

The girl motions at her to sit down, and Junri complies, expectant. "Everyone down at circ was talking about how you're practically staff, since you know so much about the library,” she trails off. 

Junri blushes at the compliment and nods at the girl to continue. She’s still a little frazzled. _So she noticed where I sit everyday?_

"So I was sort of hoping... I mean, since I'm new here and don't know much at all, plus the thing with the cart yesterday..." She looks down at her feet. Junri could burst. "Would you mind helping me learn a few things about shelving and stuff? I could pay you back with lunch or something, if you’d like me to."

Junri already has a bit of a full class schedule, but if she has enough time to read in the library every day then she must be able to make time for pretty new girl. Who she should probably get a name for, actually. If this whole crush thing is gonna continue. And it certainly looks like it will.

She stutters back into reality and answers, "Sure, I'd love to help you out." Junri knows she must sound awkward and inwardly grimaces, but the girl nearly _bounces_ with happiness and starts thanking her profusely. 

"It's really no big deal." She holds up her book. "Honestly, I should get my nose out of these books and talk to a real human for once." They both laugh a bit at that, then Junri asks, "By the way, what's your name?"

The girl smiles. "Junghae." Something blinks in the back of Junri's mind. She feels like she should recognize that name. Junghae is still talking, though. “And I don’t mean to pry or anything, but that’s one of my favorite books. What do you think of it?”

She could gush for an hour at least about this particular book and how its meaning changes each time she reads it--but maybe now’s not the time. Instead, she smiles as naturally as she can and answers, “It’s one of my favorites too. I was hoping to check out some books by an author I found recently, but none of them were on the shelves, so I figured I might as well reread this one.”

It’s Junghae’s turn to blush now, and she sheepishly looks back at the books she’s gathered. “That author wouldn’t happen to be Nikki Garnet, would it?”

“It… _would_ happen to be her.” Junri looks at the books now, too, and understands. She’s apparently not the only fan on campus.

Junghae fans out the books in front of her and plucks a couple out. “I’ve read these ones before, so you can take them if you want. They’re both really good.” She smiles at Junri again, who studiously ignores the fluttering in her chest. _Maybe,_ she thinks, _if Junghae reads lesbian romance novels… she likes girls too?_ The fluttering gets more intense at the thought.

“I’d love to check them out, especially with your recommendation.” Junri sets the two books on the ground by her backpack and, taking a deep breath to calm herself, shoots Junghae what she hopes is a flirty look. “You seem to taste good.” 

There’s a beat of silence as Junri realizes what she just said. She splutters, helpless, as Junghae lights up with laughter. She mumbles a correction but Junghae waves it off, saying, “I know what you meant, don’t worry about it,” before going back to laughing. 

Her laughter, obnoxious and cute all at once, tapers off while Junri’s face is still burning. The heat drips down her throat when Junghae lightly rests her hand on Junri’s and leans closer, eyes twinkling.

She’s caught up in the touch, letting her mind run wild, when Junghae asks, “So, when are you free?”

“Oh, uh.” The warm brown eyes in front of her are a bit of a distraction but Junri manages to remember her schedule. “I don’t have class on Thursdays, so that’s a good day.”

Junghae mouths dates and times to herself as her eyes flit over an invisible calendar before turning back to Junri and answering, “Thursday works best for me, too. I get out of class at 3, so wanna meet here at 4?”

Of course she does, but she answers with an appropriately enthusiastic _sure!_ instead of giving herself away so soon.

The air gets awkward quickly and they both _umm_ and _see you soon_ their way through gathering their things and getting ready to leave, each with coffee in hand. Junri is about to leave for her room, maybe get an early start on her homework, when Junghae calls her name again.

She turns back, about to point out the humor of this happening at both the beginning and end of their interaction, but stops when she sees how nervous Junghae looks. Her arms are wrapped tightly around her sides and her voice no longer sounds so mischievous. 

“Since 4 is around dinner time anyway, would you be interested in eating afterwards?” Junghae looks up through her bangs and Junri’s heart shoots up into her throat. But she reminds herself not to overthink this, no matter what Junghae’s body language seems to say. 

“That sounds good,” she replies coolly, trying to flash the same type of smile that Baekji uses to charm anyone and everyone. Her mouth feels weird and twitchy though, so she stops and sends Junghae a genuine smile instead. She gets one in return and looks down to hide any color that might rise to her cheeks. 

They part quietly, with the kind of discomfort one feels around pretty and unattainable people lingering heavy behind them in the reading corner. Still, Junri feels like she’s gliding down the stairs and across campus while a chorus hits a perfect harmony behind her. The sun is warmer, the wind almost refreshing, and everything blends into an idyllic vision of the prototypical liberal arts campus. 

It's only after she's closed her door behind her that Junri’s breathing stops. _Is this a date?_

/ / / 

An hour later and Baekji is _still_ in full interrogation mode. 

"When did you first see her?" Junri barely opens her mouth to answer before--"No, wait. When did you first see her like _that_?" 

"A few days ago? I’m not sure.” She pauses and worries her bottom lip. “It just sort of happened.” 

Baekji is quiet for a few seconds and Junri turns away from her laptop screen in concern. This is the first moment of silence in the room since she got back from the library. 

“Holy _shit_ she’s cute! Why didn’t you tell me she was so cute?!” Baekji is waving her phone in Junri’s face and continuing to chatter about this girl and how she’s so excited that Junri is finally branching out and-- 

“Hey, Baekji?” Her roommate stops short at the interruption. “I kinda have homework to do…” Junri trails off, motioning to the backpack she’s still wearing. 

“Of course, right.” Baekji returns to her own desk and opens up Junghae’s facebook profile on her laptop. “I’ll just be over here, investigating. Work hard now,” she lilts, clicking the “add as friend” button. 

Junri tries not to wilt inside and opens up her backpack, taking out her books while she thinks of a way to explain her overzealous roommate to Junghae. 

/ / / 

_It can't be a date_ , Junri reasons as she rifles through her closet on Thursday afternoon. _Still_ , she thinks, _I should look presentable_. But the task of looking "presentable" without crossing over into "I'm attracted to you" proves to be surprisingly hard. In the end, she settles on her favorite skirt and a crop sweater that she saves for days when she feels especially good about herself. She figures it's enough of her usual look to combine nicely with the flashy sweater. 

Junri ends up rushing out the door after thinking too long about how many coats of mascara to apply. (2 is her standard, but should she only apply 1 to counteract the sweater? She decides to do 2 coats. Like normal. Just a normal day. Not a date.) 

After a light jog across campus, Junri hauls herself up the stairs and actually manages to be on time. Junghae is sitting next to Junri's chair again, this time with only a single book and this time with her nose buried in it. She motions at Junri to sit down without looking away. 

Junri shuffles over, a little uncomfortable, and startles when Junghae slams the book down on the table between them. She’s got a faraway look on her face, eyes unfocused, as she says, “That was fantastic.” Her eyes eventually land on Junri and she perks up. “Just give me a minute!” 

Junri nods and waits, bemused, as Junghae rustles in her purse for a pen and opens to the back cover of her book. Something blips in Junri’s head as she watches Junghae take out the checkout card, and she latches onto the idea when Junghae writes a prim and proper _Kim Junghae_ on the next line of the card. 

She opens her mouth and closes it, silently adding the new information to her mental file on Junghae. 

“Do you write your name in all the books you read?” Junri can’t help herself, she’s curious. 

Junghae looks up from where she’s putting her pen back and smiles. “Only the ones I really like,” she says easily, as if that isn’t the cutest thing Junri’s ever heard. 

“So, weird habits aside,” continues Junghae, “shall we get to learning all about the wonders of academic libraries?” She raises her eyebrows with a small smile, face expectant. 

Junri refrains from stuttering anything about her cute cheeks and coolly says, “Sure. What do you have questions about?” Junri doesn’t know _everything_ about the library, but a semester of scoping out reading spots has given her at least some familiarity with most of it. 

“Well first of all,” Junghae starts, still with that tiny grin, “everyone at circ keeps talking about a secret elevator on the third floor, but they won’t tell me where it is. I thought that you’d maybe know, since you’re friends with most of them.” 

No, she isn’t. They just wave, but they don’t talk much outside of the library. Still, Junghae asked her to help because she thinks Junri knows this stuff. “Oh, I’ve heard of that… Yeah.” No, she hasn’t. “Why don’t we go look for it?” Terrible idea. 

It can’t be too hard to find, though. Junghae agrees and they haul their stuff down to the third floor. They really should be focusing on more important stuff, like the first floor periodicals and the wannabe labyrinth that holds them, but Junghae asked about this first and Junri sorta wants this “lesson” to last as long as possible. 

/ / / 

Okay, but not this long. The strappy shoes seemed like a good idea before she left, but now her feet are starting to ache from all the walking. They must have examined every square inch of the third floor at least four times, and no sign of the elevator. 

Every time Junri thinks about calling it quits, she turns back to suggest it to Junghae and finds herself feeling almost guilty. Junghae keeps a smile on her face and offers up a _I'm sure it's around here somewhere!_ each time Junri lets out a quiet sigh. Still, each successive encouraging phrase has been getting more and more desperate, until finally-- 

"Hey, Junri? Want to sit down over there?" Junghae is pointing to a small, tucked away area with two chairs that they must have passed twice in the last fifteen minutes. Exasperated, Junri plops down in one and leans back, eyes closing. She deepens her breaths and tries to look less annoyed than she feels before sitting up and facing Junghae. 

She locks eyes with Junghae, who's blushing the deepest red Junri's seen on her--actually, has she even seen Junghae properly blush before? Whatever. Clearly, she's about to say something. Anxious thoughts flash into Junri's head: what if this was some sort of convoluted test to see if she knew there wasn't an elevator? What if it was all a prank? 

"There's no secret elevator on the third floor," Junghae says, as if she's confessing to some horrible crime. 

"I figured that out," drawls Junri in such a casual tone that even she's shocked for a half a second. She watches Junghae's face closely, following the small twitches of the corners of her mouth. 

Junghae takes a deep breath and bursts out, "I didn't need library lessons either. I only wanted to spend time with you and I like your hair and your eyes and I think maybe we should--" 

She stops short, looking like she wants to clap her hands over her mouth. And maybe it's the exhaustion, or how much Junri just wants to get this terrifically jittery "do-you-like-me" phase over with, but she finds herself leaning forward in her chair. She's meeting Junghae's eyes, no more flicking her gaze back to the ground, and she's standing up just enough to get closer. 

Junghae is frozen, color drained from her face, and Junri takes a second to admire her without all the pretense, without the confident front. Her deep brown eyes are wide enough to see the way her irises fade from caramel to chocolate and Junri makes a mental note to compliment her on them later. 

Now, though, her lips are millimeters away from brushing against Junghae's and she nearly lets the shock stop her in her tracks. Before the anxiety takes hold of her, she rushes forward and presses her lips to Junghae's slightly chapped ones. 

Her bottom lip crowds itself between Junghae's surprisingly soft lips, and then they're switching. She gently sucks on Junghae's bottom lip, pressing herself closer in the chair. A hand rests on the small of her back and pulls her in, deepening their kiss with the proximity. 

It feels like something is blossoming in her chest, like a cymbal is crashing in her head, and the imagined perception is enough to overwhelm her. It's pleasant, though, instead of overstimulating. 

Still, they both need to breathe, and have to break apart eventually--not before Junghae gets an endearingly sweaty hand on Junri's thigh, however. She keeps the hand there as they sit next to each other, crammed onto the same chair and breathing loudly in the quiet. 

"I like you too, by the way," Junri says, startling herself with how easy that was to say. They may have just made out for who knows how many minutes, but it's never been that easy. 

Junghae lets out a short bark of laughter, tightening her grip on Junri's thigh and leaning in for another small kiss. “You know, this was totally not my plan.” 

Junri laughs now, leaning her head on Junghae’s shoulder. “Yeah, I totally believe that,” she says with a roll of her eyes. She lets a hand wander down to where Junghae’s rests on her leg and intertwines their fingers. 

“It really wasn’t!” Junghae pauses to take a breath and continues, “My real plan was much more romantic, but you ruined it with your damn skirt!” 

“My skirt?” Junri sits up and cocks her head. “What about it?” 

Junghae turns that pretty pink again and mutters, “We weren’t supposed to wander around for that long, but I got kinda invested in watching your legs move. It was bad.” 

Not the answer Junri had been expecting. Still, that’s a pretty solid compliment. She thanks Junghae before moving onto mocking her, which earns a playful slap on the knee. Something about this feels so much easier than it should, and Junri can’t help but feel like she’s soaring. This is the way she wants to act with everybody, the way she knows she would act if not for the flashes of worry that keep her quiet. 

But today, with Junghae, Junri is comfortable. Really, truly comfortable. They meander to the dining hall, hands still tangled together, and complain about the cafeteria food while playing footsie under the table. Junri knows people can see but doesn’t find it in herself to care, not when each brush of Junghae’s calf on hers has sparks flying under her skin.

They have to part eventually. Homework is calling, even though neither of them really want to go do it. The whole thing is like some crystalline fantasy. Junri worries that letting the moment end will make it shatter, and she’ll wake up tomorrow and none of this will have happened. She tries to memorize the feeling of Junghae’s lips on hers, just in case. 

The walk back to her dorm is somehow different. The sky is a deep, comforting blue around her and she breathes in the calm it offers. Her nerves are still tingling when she unlocks her door and finds the room empty. Baekji must be with her boyfriend, she sleeps over in Yixing’s room pretty often. Junri is grateful for the quiet. 

She sets down her bag and pads over to her desk, where she notices the stack of Nikki Garnet books. Her head pops up when she remembers what Junghae had said earlier, about putting her name in the books she loves. Junri is desperate for any physical reminder of their relationship, their interaction today, and she rifles to the back of the first book in the pile. 

Of course, there it is. _Kim Junghae_ in that impeccable script. Junri smiles to herself before moving on to the other books. Each one contains her name, always the last one on the checkout card. One of them even had it in there twice, both entries dated about a year apart. 

Junri takes a deep breath and tries to process everything that’s happened today. She’s got a girlfriend type thing now, her first one. Junghae’s phone number is shiny and new in her contacts list, and Junri opens up a new message to her. 

When she can’t think of anything to say that isn’t too sappy, she changes into sweats and decides to get to work on her homework. Calculus attempts to flood her mind and fails entirely. She can’t even focus on her literature homework, and eventually has to call it quits for the night. 

After coming back from washing her face and brushing her teeth, Junri notices that her phone is flashing on her desk. It’s a message from Junghae, and all it says is _I can’t wait to see you tomorrow. Same spot at 3?_

Glad Baekji isn’t here, Junri finally lets herself squeal and jump around the room. This is _real_ , this is happening! It doesn’t even seem real, but the checkout cards on her desk remind her that it is, that she did kiss Junghae today and will probably be doing it a lot more in the future. Junri could scream. 

She finally manages to calm down and type out a reply, fingers unsteady on the buttons. 

_Wouldn’t miss it for the world._


End file.
